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Sunday, May 27, 2007
something amazing happened today. friend: so, hows school? me: great! it just dawned on me that this was the first time since uni started that my instant reply to such a simple question was a simple "great". perhaps its due to it being holidays now, perhaps its due to the release of results yesterday. but in any case, it felt good. did not have the usual irk and dreadful feeling against school and what not. my response would always be "the usual", "ok", "fine", "still surviving". ah well.. yet today it was different. even i shocked myself. haha. its nothing great. nothing big. but somehow, this simple question and answer left a nice, happy feeling within me. i guess its true when they say u'll automatically feel good about sth when u quit harping on the unpleasant aspects. hm. but then again, i guess this instant response was merely a result of the holidays and that i'll be leaving here soon. ah well, whatever it is, it was nice while it lasted and this difference left a pleasant feeling. facade-x reminiscing 22:28 + + + I thank God for miracles, generosity and above all else, magnanimity. facade-x reminiscing 19:46 + + + people always say 'life sucks'. in my opinion, it doesnt. its simply the way we handle it, make our decisions and form our perspectives that probably suck. life sucks because life is tough. but ever wonder if this toughness's a result of one's incapability to overcome challenges? life sucks because life is unfair. what is 'fair' really? life sucks because life is complicated. but ever wonder if it's complicated simply because we made it/thought of it as complicated? life sucks because it just all just a big lie. what is there really to 'lie' about life? quit blaming life. seriously, what is there about life to blame. blame it on ur own incapability. blame it on ur own weakness. blame it on ur own complexity. saying life suck and getting all dejected by the very concept of life being sucky is almost similar to blaming the table for hurting ur toe after u kicked the table. quit saying life suck for the sake of saying it. when things get tough, take a deep breath and go. when it gets suffocating, take a lil break. when stuck in unpleasant situations, try to make the best out of it. have the fair share of complains, whines, get different sort of therapy, sure. but at the end of the day, just take a deep breath, pray well, go for it, and get it done. if life has to be gone through with, why not do it happily. getting all sulky and depressed's only putting urself through crap and of cos, putting others through crap at the same time. well, as cliche as it may be, its true. similarly, since it has already begun and am already involved, why not just try to make the best out of it, or just merely make it a teen bit better by stop thinking it ok being sucky would be ok. and since schooling is 'part of life' in this developed ctry, perhaps its time to quit putting the blame on 'school' as well. this shall be a reminder to myself whenever i go into self-pity and others blaming mood. try at least huh. facade-x reminiscing 01:04 + + + first kbox session yesterday. heh. never expected myself to last for so many hours. haha my limited knowledge of so-called contemporary songs resulted in us singing real oldies and embarassing songs. my difficult, demanding and now domineering friend confiscated the remote, forbidded me from translating the songs for her, scolded me for providing some background music for her and stared at me when the stupid mtv was too slow/fast for me. horrible. oh. not forgetting, eating all the crackers that were provided leaving me with a few miserable peanuts. heh. but despite all these, still love my difficult, demanding and now domineering friend facade-x reminiscing 14:30 + + + it happens once all over again. the after exams crap-i-cant-slp thing. its annoying. its always the same.. with the need/want to slp 24/7 during exams and yet being not the least bit slpy, despite it being 2, going 3, in the morning after exams. i look like crap its disgusting. so am not going hk anymore. mickey and minnie were so close. oh well.. i've made my choice so shall not whine abt it. i need money. money does not make the world go round, but it sure does make the world spin faster and easier around its already roundness... whatever did that mean. not slping but the brain's aslp. the last day of rendezvous between my room and i. haha. its saddening. whatever am i gonna do. was.. no, am still living in a state of denial hoping that all these will just be a temp thing. but somehow, deep down, i know the new arrangement's gonna last for some time. dun fancy changes and i absoutely love and need my solitude. with my level of potential insanity, i'll probably drive myself crazy sooner than expected. selfish, conceited, whatever. i need my space and my solitude, and solitude is one thing that i cant accomodate. oh whatever am i gonna do seriously. facade-x reminiscing 01:50 + + + dear friend's birthday on the 4th of May. Happy Birthday to you. haha. was a day filled with surprises and hope it made her day sweet. was hoping for more surprises, but as they say, the majority wins. haha. oh well, went nice and even though it wasnt really "coming all the way down to esther's house", haha.. im glad it was appreciated. happy birthday friend. and thank you for sharing the stories of the edge of heaven and earth. facade-x reminiscing 02:31 + + + did not realise it has been more than 2 mths since the last post. oh well. phantom of the opera on the 19th of april. it was excellent! wondefully fabulous im left speechless. and not forgetting the backstage tour. wow. couldnt believe it. what are the chances of winning backstage passes seriously. there was so much work going on backstage its amazing. oh well.. nice experience, fantastic show.. absoutely worth the $122 spent. in any case, finally finally the exams are over. wow. finally's the only word. shall not bother abt how it went, how was it, whatever, just glad that its over.. for now. i've always thought that 4..hopefully.. years of uni is superbly long. i mean.. compare it to 2 yrs of jc and stuff. but now 2 semesters have gone by, am gonna be a year 2 student soon and yet i feel as if my uni life has just started. as usual, time passes way too fast for my own good. hm.. feel as i was just following through the motions without knowing what am i doing exactly. aint nice at all. oh well.. shall be wise and look forward to a more pleasant future instead. heh hm. i've always known that im the kind of person who takes academic stuff pretty seriously. but recently, i've come to feel as if im just an engineered product. there has always been this one way track on my mind whereby if i dun do well in this aspect, theres no 'glorious' future to hope for, for i have no outstanding talents nor whatsoever to speak of. "so what if u get straight As...", ".... are pple who do not think..." even though these werent directed at me, it got me thinking. to have been consistently pursuing that piece of paper so dogmatically, having that single mindset and yet to have this sudden thought kinda threw me offguard a lil. perhaps it was just an excuse i found in the midst of the exams, or perhaps it was a sudden.. epiphany. haha.. nah.. nonsense. i guess it was just an excuse and i'll continue to pursue that piece of paper and do what i do best, to ignore other thoughts and just stick to what im used to, staying in my comfort zone of thoughts. facade-x reminiscing 02:17 + + + |
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